Battle Strategy

Transcript

A general stands on the battlefield next to a king and queen.

General to Queen: Your Majesty, only you can defeat their knight!

King: She isn’t a soldier!

General: You may not be, sire, but Her Majesty is very formidable. I wouldn’t put her in harm’s way without good reason.

Queen: Don’t worry, dear, she’s the most brilliant tactician in the land.

The queen races into battle. The general speaks to a nearby knight.

General: Now you must position yourself to threaten their king.

Knight: But, General, their soldiers are blocking the way.

General: So jump over them!

The king looks on. He stands next to a bishop who appears terrified to be there.

King to Bishop: Do you think it was a bad idea to use a chess competition to pick our next general?

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Comments

1. Cay Reet

   August 5, 2020 at 3:59 am

   It was a very bad idea to use a chess competition, I dare say.

   Yet, it’s long before games where you command real troops were invented.

   Reply to Cay Reet
2. A.R.

   August 5, 2020 at 6:35 am

   The bishop does very much think that, thanks for asking.

   Although….the queen seems to be doing pretty well. Do you think she took martial arts when she was a little princess?

   One question: What do you think the general would have done if the king was married to a man? Arbitrarily picked some girl and said, “Your Majesty, this is your new queen. Now she’s gonna beat up the other side for you”?

   Reply to A.R.
   • Cay Reet

     August 5, 2020 at 6:57 am

     Since we’re talking about the queen in the sense of the chessboard, the partner of the king, standing next to him, will meet the definition of ‘Queen’ and be used accordingly, I’d say.

     Reply to Cay Reet
     • Erynus

       August 7, 2020 at 4:26 am

       Any pawn can be crowned queen if it reach the oposite side (actually you can crown into any piece but the king, but the queen is so powerful that it is the obvious choice, i know cases where a knight crowned pawn decided the game)

       Reply to Erynus
   • Oren Ashkenazi

     August 6, 2020 at 10:19 am

     Editor’s note: I’ve removed a comment for bringing homophobia into a fun chat about comics, part of a pattern of malicious behavior.

     Reply to Oren Ashkenazi
3. LeeEsq

   August 5, 2020 at 1:37 pm

   A chess competition doesn’t seem any more ridiculous than relying on prophecy. At least chess players need to demonstrate some tactical thinking, Now if they used a backgammon competition, that would be a bad idea.

   Reply to LeeEsq
   • Cay Reet

     August 5, 2020 at 1:44 pm

     Would it be? Backgammon might have less different pieces, but it has an added difficulty: the dice. With chess, you can, once you’re experienced enough, judge all the moves that would make sense for your adversary when you make this move or that and plan accordingly. With backgammon, your best-laid plans can be nul and void in a moment, because the other one gets the better dice, can move his pieces faster than you, and you’re left to lose because of a factor you can’t influence, unless you can change your plans on the go.

     From the level of strategy involved, chess, backgammon, and poker are relatively close together.

     Reply to Cay Reet
     • LeeEsq

       August 5, 2020 at 3:05 pm

       It was just a joke. I was picking a random game.

       Reply to LeeEsq
4. Kenneth Mackay

   August 6, 2020 at 3:52 am

   Have you heard of ‘(k)nightmare chess’? It uses a deck of cards, each of which allows the player to do something outside the normal rules of chess. For example, a low card might allow the player to move a pawn an extra square, or sideways rather than forward, a medium-powered card might let them make one move with a knight as though it was a bishop, and the most powerful cards allow for actions such as taking two consecutive turns, or moving one of your opponent’s pieces rather than your own.
   It makes chess far less predictable…!

   Reply to Kenneth Mackay
   • Cay Reet

     August 6, 2020 at 6:57 am

     Haven’t heard of it before, but it sounds interesting.

     Reply to Cay Reet
5. Cip

   August 6, 2020 at 7:53 am

   Snakes and ladders would be best I think

   Reply to Cip
6. Recursive Rabbit

   August 6, 2020 at 8:20 am

   Move that castle to hem in their king!

   Reply to Recursive Rabbit