Time to Go Home

Transcript

A child protagonist sits on a mushroom throne in elaborate overly large garb and a huge scepter. A wise sage stands before the throne, pointing to a portal through which the child’s bedroom is visible.

Sage: Now that you have saved the kingdom, the mystic gateway has opened one last time. We must bid you farewell as you return to your own land.

Child: But this is my land now! And it’s awesome. I’m gonna stay and rule.

Sage, frowning: No, child, it’s time for you to use your new found wisdom and bravery to overcome the fearsome foes of school and family life.

Child: I won’t need to if I don’t go back.

Sage, looking desperate: Think of your parents. They’ll miss you.

Child: Oh. You’re right. I need to go home.

Dorky parents appear at the portal entrance with suitcases.

Dad: Wow, looks cozy over there! Hope there’s enough mush-room for us?

Child: Yay!

Sage: *Sob*

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Comments

1. Jeppsson

   October 28, 2020 at 4:17 am

   I mean, this is what happened in the sequel books in the Wizard of Oz series. Dorothy’s aunt and uncle come with her to live in Oz instead of crappy Kansas.

   Reply to Jeppsson
2. Erynus

   October 28, 2020 at 5:30 am

   It was probably someone trying to cling to a throne what put the kingdom in danger in the first place.
   Seems that they need a new Chosen One.

   Reply to Erynus
   • Julia

     October 28, 2020 at 4:37 pm

     The latest Chosen One, here to supplant the previous Chosen One.

     Reply to Julia
3. Bellis

   October 28, 2020 at 7:10 am

   I’d want to stay a mushroom monarch too!

   Reply to Bellis
4. CJ

   October 28, 2020 at 11:42 am

   Ngl, but why don’t they do this? The hero should rule the kingdom they saved, it’d make sense, if the current monarch is too weak and needs a military might to rule. This is exactly what happened in Rome, the governors were too weak to hold any true power and thus employed the Roman soldiers, then the soldiers rebelled because they’re actually smart and took over.

   Reply to CJ
   • Erynus

     October 29, 2020 at 8:33 am

     Well, no.
     You can’t allow a country to be ruled by military force alone, or you will have a Dictatorship. Monarchy was invented to give “the next guy in line” a way to stay in power without civil wars or (too many) uprises. As societies evolved, they realized that military power have to be independent from political power (as well as judicial power) to have a somewhat working civilization.
     Also we must remember that a great general don’t make for a great ruler unless he rules their country like an army. There are plenty of examples of generals becoming rulers and rulers acting as general, with various degrees of success.
     For example King Francis I of France was defeated and captured by the Spanish because he ordered his cannons to shoot and then sending his own cavalry to cross the lie of fire.

     As for Rome (i think you are referring to the Roman Empire, though the most succesful time of the Roman Empire was when it was a Republic) the problem came when the absolute control of an army rest in their commander hands, and only there. A roman commander was given permission to raise an army for a given campaing, and all the expenses were handled by the commander. In return, soldiers were way more loyal to the commander that paid for their equipment, food and training that to some old politician that (in theory) gave the orders from Rome.
     That was the reason why armies were forbidden to enter the City, and why Caesar began a civil war when he crossed the Rubicon river (that was, in fact, the beginning of the Empire).
     To set the dates straight Caesar’s civil war and following assassination was in 44 b.C, the end of the Roman Empire was in 476 when it was cut in half and survived as Byzantine Empire until 1453. Both “ends” had more to do with a weak army than a weak ruler.
     Personal power means nothing when you need to rule more than a fistful of subjects.

     Reply to Erynus
   • Alverant

     October 30, 2020 at 7:58 pm

     Erynus’s tldr version:
     Liberating a kingdom has a different skill set than ruling a kingdom.

     Reply to Alverant
5. LeeEsq

   October 28, 2020 at 1:21 pm

   Dealing with the life of somebody from our world who gets sent to fantasy land to save the day but has to return to regular earth, permanently, would be a real fascinating story. How does one return to a normal developed world life after getting exposed to fantastical adventures?

   Reply to LeeEsq
   • Cay Reet

     October 29, 2020 at 11:38 am

     According to ‘newish’ adaptions of stories like Wizard of Oz or Alice in Wonderland ‘not at all.’

     Reply to Cay Reet
   • Bryan

     October 29, 2020 at 1:02 pm

     Not a book, but the RPG “When the Dark is Gone” is based around the concept of a young adult support group gathering together to lend emotional support to fantasy land protagonists that are super bummed out about not being able to go back.

     Reply to Bryan
6. LeeEsq

   October 28, 2020 at 1:22 pm

   People still use suit cases without wheels?

   Reply to LeeEsq
   • Lucy

     October 28, 2020 at 3:07 pm

     To be fair, to doesn’t look like a wheelie case would help much in the mushroom jungle.

     Reply to Lucy
   • Raillery

     October 28, 2020 at 5:55 pm

     It’s an obsolescent device revived as a personal fashion statement, like having a phone that’s over five years old.

     Reply to Raillery
7. Ken Hughes

   October 30, 2020 at 7:42 am

   Where do you think the last Evil Overlord came from?

   Reply to Ken Hughes